Ass Sandwich

In my younger and more vulnerable years I had a predilection for mooning. Three bun facts:

-Mooning used to be slang for “wandering idly” and “romantically pining.”
-In 2006, a Maryland state circuit court  determined that mooning is a form of artistic expression protected by the First Amendment as a form of speech.
-In the Siege of Constantinople in 1204, the Greeks exposed their bare buttocks to the Crusaders after they repulsed them from the walls.

During college I visited my friend at Cornell University. He informed me that his roommate had stolen a $250 pen out of his room. While we were playing beer pong the thief passed out drunk in a chair. Injustice does not sit well with J.W. Kash. I decided to gently, softly, briefly rest my ass on his cheek.

Moral: Don’t steal. When you pass out drunk at a party a stranger may push his hairy ass against your face.

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